Scene Add on: Uncharted

     As I gazed around the long bustling terminal, I saw a couple savoring a plate of cheesecake, a boy waving good bye to his parents, and a company of air stewardesses making their way to the escalator with their luggage bags trailing behind. French-twist, floral scarf, knee-length skirt and a smile that would make any man blush. A much needed distraction from my pulsating stomach, which seem to sync with the ticking clock hanging from a pillar in this aerodrome—the awaited hour draws near.

     

     Everyone seem like they had a place to go, a thing to do. Janitors would clean and waiters would serve and officers would go on patrols. Flight passengers would try to pin-point their flight destinations on the six-screen board hanging by the gateway. But I was somewhere in between. Between what is and what will be.

     Ah, a destination, I thought. It’s the prime rule for travelers. It could be a neighboring country or somewhere on the other side of the world or EVEN THE ARTIC! Regardless, every traveler has a journey’s end. I wonder if I ‘really’ had a destination.I was going somewhere--a one-way ticket to the United States, but where was I going? I began to wonder if I made the right dec-...

     Jason Mraz started to sing a chorus line:

            “So, I won’t hesitate no more, no more”s

     It was my cellphone—ringing the same tune about 'not hesitating' for half an hour now. The awaited hour draws near and calls from friends who wanted to say their final goodbyes flooded the communication sphere. It amazes me how cold hard wires in all its intricate ways are able to channel familiar voices from miles away. Petty thoughts. What annoying pleasures their voices were.

             “Josh, don’t party too much, okay?”

             “Joshie boy, have a safe flight, I’ll miss you!”

             “Oy, don’t eat too many burgers and grow fat, Mr. Lim!”

     Perhaps the most heartfelt was from my 15-year-old friend, Joel—a talented boy whom I've seen grown from a kid to a teen.  

              “Hey Josh, I’m sorry we couldn't make it. I really wanted to send you off but my dad had to be somewhere. Just know we all wish you a safe flight, and we’ll see you soon.” *end*  

               

     A bittersweet moment indeed. Tick tock tick tock. 

     No one was obligated to attend my departure, yet it felt good that people cared to show up—in large numbers too. My parents and relatives and the cheerleading team and my closest friends from church--all here. I've always felt inadequate, but I was complete.

     Grandpa and grandma came too—both approaching their 80s. I held their hands for a moment longer. These were the hands that have nurtured two generation of Lim’s; hands once smooth and strong now soft and wrinkled and discolored from the brightness of youth. How much sand does the hourglass still hold? Enough to hold these hands again?

     

     Why have I chosen to leave all this behind?

      The life I had was great. Why trade all I had gained only to start over. Nervousness started to perspire from my palms. There would be no shame in turning back. I’m sure no one would fully object. Even the girl I had a crush on for five years stood in front of me with tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Come back, okay?” she said.

I stared at the clock again--tick tock tick tock. The awaited hour was here.